Shoestrings

I've decided in another bout of practical unemployment to start doing this again.

The greater context of my dream was lost, but I know I had to go searching in my 'shoe string drawer'. There was definitely a large drawer full of shoe strings haphazardly laying about. There was a particularly round pair of bright yellow ones with thin white stripes that I wondered why I ever picked up.

Corporate Shame via Flying Squirrel at The Swamp

I was hired by a large corporate entity to promote their product by wearing a flying squirrel so large that it required two people to operate. To explain: one person wears the 'head and front arms' portion, the body extends in a roughly 40 foot flat, furry stretch of fabric, and the second person makes up the 'tail and floppy back legs'. I made up the back end of the costume and (I think) my friend Karl made up the front end. We were supposed to go around a large sporting event supporting whatever product giant flying squirrels naturally promote with their presence and no signage.

We were running around a grassy(?) tail-gating event - small but still embarrassing for me - and I remember being thankful that's all we had to do. I remember shouting as we came to the far end of the tailgating near the stadium "I am glad this is over soon", when Karl shouted, "What are you talking about? We haven't hit the stadium yet." As we approached the stadium I realized we were at the top of a MASSIVE grassy hill and the actual stadium was at the bottom of the hill. There were people EVERYWHERE, but there was a nice open path for us to run down the hill. I suppose this would have looked pretty cool from the stands and made the squirrel look like it was actually flying.

So, we started running down the hill. We made it on the jumbo-tron and all in all it was not as embarrassing as it could have been. We also ended up sitting on the sidelines of the game. This is when I realized that we were actually at The Swamp watching Oregon State play the Gators. I remember the announcer asking over the PA for Oregon fans to cheer and it was very quiet. I also remember Oregon State botching the kick-off and Florida getting the ball at their 30, so I guess I wasn't the one having the bad day after all.

True Pop-Punks

I was waiting in a line in a very well lit and expansive cave with my girlfriend. I recognized a lot of the people in the line from a medical marijuana clinic I once worked for (reality). The cave was not a clinic. Most of the people in the line were sitting on the floor because it was taking a long time. There were quite a few chain link fences around.

There were three stereotypical punks standing in front of my girlfriend and I in line: leather stud jackets, hair spikes, whatever. One was a tall guy, one was a girl, and the last one was extremely short and probably pretty young. The little one kept giving me the stink eye, until he finally started blue streaking me for no reason, Sid Vicious style. I was annoyed and slightly amused and asked his fairly indifferent companions to 'muzzle their runt'. I got a pretty big kick out of this in my dream and think I probably laughed out loud in real life. The little guy did not take this too well and spat at my girlfriend. I remember thinking/saying 'OK, fuck this' and calling security. Security showed up - looking a bit too much like Carl Winslow - and I explained the situation. He promptly stated he would have to throw all three of them in jail, and the three punks were very upset. Security asked if that would satisfy me, and I said that it definitely would.

Jail was literally a large pit behind a chain link fence in the cave, and when I went to look at the punks in jail, they were busy performing That Thing You Do by The Wonders. The tall guy was playing a marching bass drum, the girl was playing a guitar, and the little guy was the vocalist. I remember thinking 'Who the fuck gave these assholes instruments while they were in jail?'

Zombie Escape, Friendly Larceny, and Mundane Tidbits

Sorry for the delay in posting for anyone who may have once read this. Being unemployed certainly does give one more time for writing, but I did not take into account my general anxiety levels seem to absolutely crush my motivation. My recent break from writing was because my dreams seemed to be fairly mundane: obvious reflections on my days events with little mystery or bravado. For example: I was playing Magic the Gathering on my computer; I was making dinner; I was drinking coffee at a shop. I did have one interesting, and possibly telling, zombie apocalypse dream. The part of the 'zombie attack' that I remember is minimal - but I got away. First time I can say that has happened in any 'pursuit' dream I can recall. I also drove away from the main zombie-infestation area in a bright red convertible. Equally awesome. I stopped and managed to break into my friend Seth's artfully dilapidated apartment, return a broom that I 'borrowed' from him earlier in a similar manner, 'borrow' something else, and then narrowly escape through a window right as he got home. I got a hysterical rush out of this.

Mob Boss Vlog / Evil Persian Cinema City

Two tidbits without context from last night.

First, I was watching a vlog through Youtube for a mob boss. I don't know what group the mob represented, but by how I remember the boss it was probably Italian or some nationality that shares stereotypical 'Italian' characteristics. The format of the vlog was similar to a cable news show, and the boss host was calling for mass destruction of his enemies. What made this funny was that the boss had a very charming, funny attitude the whole time - think game show hosts like Bob Barker or Chuck Woolrey. There were also many dynamic titles and menus flying across the screen - the most memorable one being in bright pink bubble letters saying "GET THEM!".

The second was also out of context and involved me being a HUGE giant (like head in the clouds huge). The only bit of this I remember clearly was standing over an area that had three clear landscape divisions. The first was a dark green, sparsely wooded, windy plain. It had a few small and scattered houses in it and I think I would like to live there. Directly over where I was standing was a place where people harvest natural resources. It was brown, fairly barren, and looked 'stripped'. I remember sulfur mines(?), a dirty river, and some industrial equipment. No one was working presently, and I could tell the area was dangerous and slightly toxic.

This is where I think the second dream gets cool: I decided I didn't want to stand over the dangerous mines anymore, so I set off for the third section of the landscape. This was a snowless mountainous area, with a circular ridge in the middle that was as tall as I was. The ridge was flat on top so I could see over it. I could hear people talking from the circle-ridge's interior so I peaked over. I saw an ancient metropolis - which for some reason I identified as 'Persian' in my mind. I thought about going in but saw that the city was also populated by STONE GOLEMS that walked around with the humans. I knew that this was a secret place and they would not take kindly to me knowing they lived equally with stone golems. I looked to my left and realized the conversation I was hearing was actually coming from a massive movie theater screen that sat on top of the ridge so all of the cities inhabitants could see it. The city was currently watching a Disney cartoon, and I think my mind lazily defaulted to Aladdin.

Because I'm Cool

I was being kicked out of a classroom project group by its leader. The girl who lead the group was very 'dorky'(?) I guess: timid, short, thick rimmed glasses, stocky, blonde, and a very square face.

I felt this was very unjust and confronted her. She told me she did it because she hates me because "I'm the coolest kid in class." I laughed in her face and said she must be mistaken. I stated that a majority of the class probably hated my guts too, but for a variety of very different reasons and definitely not that one. I said if anyone hated me I hoped it was because I called them on their bullshit and wouldn't back down. I was comfortable with that, but being hated for stuff I didn't do or couldn't control was uncomfortable.

She wouldn't back down, and was definitely power tripping in her moment of triumph. I realized she must have hated me for a very long time. I felt slightly flattered at my ability to instill such strong feelings in a person. I had the notion I had never really given her any thought. I didn't argue with her any further.

Two and a Half Men Cause A Family Reunion

I was in a leadership role for a television show - maybe a producer or director. I was inside a large house with the rest of the cast and crew and our premier was going to be competing with a special announcement from Two and a Half Men. I was confident that we would beat them in the ratings.

The doorbell rang. When I opened the door a younger version of my now 10 years passed grandmother was there. I don't think it was absolutely true to what she looked like, but more like an older version of my mother. She was very pretty, none-the-less, and had an extremely bright red sweatshirt on. We hugged, and I told her I was surprised to see her because she was dead. It was dark outside, with a dark purple hue to things, and the sky was glowing orange like I was close to street lamps or a fire. She told me that because I was 'going back a few days in time' she could see me for a little while and wanted to know if I was alright. I told her about the premier and that I was excited. She was happy for me, and continued to meet my girlfriend and tell her I was nice.

I don't know how I feel about any of this.