David, illustrator and co-owner of über-blog Doodles MAXIMUM, approached me with an idea to blow up a radio tower in Portland, OR. It sounded like an intriguing idea, and he convinced me by explaining that he and a girl(?) blew one up yesterday and it was totally awesome. David, another friend named Adam - whom I believe was the 'technical guru' in this scenario - and I approached the red, skeletal radio tower on a strangely round and grassy hill that overlooked the downtown Portland area. For some reason we set the explosives near the top of the tower, and while we walked away Adam exclaimed the smoke could be seen 'from 75 miles away' even before the explosion. I remember the tower blowing up, and the ensuing panic to get away before anyone saw me there. David and Adam decided to drive home and play video games. Their house looked a lot like my house. I could hear them playing games and laughing in my house, and was puzzled as to why they were not worried. I decided to go jogging to create a few alibis. I don't jog while conscious.
I set off for downtown and stopped in at a retail store for fireplaces. I realized after about five seconds that no one would go fireplace shopping in running clothes, so when I was approach by a sales associate I said I was 'just browsing' and left.
I then decided I should go to a dorm. My girlfriend did not exist in this world where I blew up radio towers, so I thought I would visit some girl I knew. I don't know this girl in real life, but she had red hair. I thought we were flirting fine, but things got weird when she was a little too interested in my posterior. I kept telling her I was not interested in that sort of stuff but she kept telling me it was cool and I'd dig it. I promised I wouldn't. By this time I was much more concerned with my butt than my freedom.
My real life girlfriend woke me up and I thanked her for never wanting to go there. She rightfully laughed at me.
12 years ago
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