Corporate Shame via Flying Squirrel at The Swamp

I was hired by a large corporate entity to promote their product by wearing a flying squirrel so large that it required two people to operate. To explain: one person wears the 'head and front arms' portion, the body extends in a roughly 40 foot flat, furry stretch of fabric, and the second person makes up the 'tail and floppy back legs'. I made up the back end of the costume and (I think) my friend Karl made up the front end. We were supposed to go around a large sporting event supporting whatever product giant flying squirrels naturally promote with their presence and no signage.

We were running around a grassy(?) tail-gating event - small but still embarrassing for me - and I remember being thankful that's all we had to do. I remember shouting as we came to the far end of the tailgating near the stadium "I am glad this is over soon", when Karl shouted, "What are you talking about? We haven't hit the stadium yet." As we approached the stadium I realized we were at the top of a MASSIVE grassy hill and the actual stadium was at the bottom of the hill. There were people EVERYWHERE, but there was a nice open path for us to run down the hill. I suppose this would have looked pretty cool from the stands and made the squirrel look like it was actually flying.

So, we started running down the hill. We made it on the jumbo-tron and all in all it was not as embarrassing as it could have been. We also ended up sitting on the sidelines of the game. This is when I realized that we were actually at The Swamp watching Oregon State play the Gators. I remember the announcer asking over the PA for Oregon fans to cheer and it was very quiet. I also remember Oregon State botching the kick-off and Florida getting the ball at their 30, so I guess I wasn't the one having the bad day after all.

True Pop-Punks

I was waiting in a line in a very well lit and expansive cave with my girlfriend. I recognized a lot of the people in the line from a medical marijuana clinic I once worked for (reality). The cave was not a clinic. Most of the people in the line were sitting on the floor because it was taking a long time. There were quite a few chain link fences around.

There were three stereotypical punks standing in front of my girlfriend and I in line: leather stud jackets, hair spikes, whatever. One was a tall guy, one was a girl, and the last one was extremely short and probably pretty young. The little one kept giving me the stink eye, until he finally started blue streaking me for no reason, Sid Vicious style. I was annoyed and slightly amused and asked his fairly indifferent companions to 'muzzle their runt'. I got a pretty big kick out of this in my dream and think I probably laughed out loud in real life. The little guy did not take this too well and spat at my girlfriend. I remember thinking/saying 'OK, fuck this' and calling security. Security showed up - looking a bit too much like Carl Winslow - and I explained the situation. He promptly stated he would have to throw all three of them in jail, and the three punks were very upset. Security asked if that would satisfy me, and I said that it definitely would.

Jail was literally a large pit behind a chain link fence in the cave, and when I went to look at the punks in jail, they were busy performing That Thing You Do by The Wonders. The tall guy was playing a marching bass drum, the girl was playing a guitar, and the little guy was the vocalist. I remember thinking 'Who the fuck gave these assholes instruments while they were in jail?'

OLD: Flapping to Levitate / Frustrated / Captain America

I have a memory of being able to levitate if I jumped as high as I could in one place and flapped my arms. I don't know how long I subconsciously believed this, only reflecting upon how absurd it was when I almost said it out loud when I was not quite a teenager.

When I was very young, I somehow thought I invented the word 'frustrated' as well. I can only attribute this to some delusional dream.

Probably more coincidence than dream delusion was when I found out my action figure that I named 'Captain America' was actually a super hero named Captain America. I still feel weird when I see that character. I don't plan on seeing the movie.